i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
