So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
