I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
