Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All the doctor said was why
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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