Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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