toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
