My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we made out on top of his cat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
