So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
