she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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