I like my sex mixed with concussions.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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