yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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