i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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