it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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