I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
