i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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