I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
