White coat. Heels.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
