I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My vagina is officially offended.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize