one might say we're banned from that church
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
