Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
