i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
