Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
