Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
