I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This toilet bowl is my home.
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