Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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