Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
