one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
