is wine microwaveable?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
