sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
