He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
