OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
