How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
