escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
