It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
