Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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