you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
