Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
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