I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and she was petting her beer can
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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