Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
