Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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