he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
