yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
