and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
