She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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