There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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