my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
