Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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