I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
