What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
