note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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