It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
