Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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