in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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