whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize