too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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