Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
