I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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