Man, jail baloney is awful.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
