She's JV to your varsity
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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