soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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