yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
