I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
