i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
