They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
