return my video game
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
